Stop Giving Your Energy to What Drains You: A Guide to Let Go and Start Living for Yourself, Regardless of What Others May Think
Have you ever found yourself clinging to something because it’s deemed “cool,” “good,” or even “necessary” by society – even when it’s quietly draining you? Recognizing and admitting that something is a detriment to your well-being, despite its external validation, is one of the bravest things you can do for yourself.
So often, we get caught up in societal expectations, not realizing we have a voice and a choice.
We often ignore these quiet drains on our energy because they’re wrapped in layers of social approval or personal expectation. It might be a job that looks great on paper but leaves you feeling empty, or a habit that once served you but now feels like a chore.
We tell ourselves to push through, thinking that stepping back means failure. But letting go isn’t giving up—it’s making space for what truly aligns with your well-being and values.
For me, that “something” has been social media.
When ‘Good’ Things Take a Big Toll – and What to Do About It
Social media, with all its positives – community, connection, education and opportunities – has always felt like a life-force drain on my soul. Despite my best efforts to curate my experience, it lacks the conscious connection that I value. Instead, it often fosters toxicity, opens us up to internet trolls, and creates (for me anyway) an overwhelming sense of mental clutter.
For years, I have tried to make it work, convincing myself that it was a necessary part of modern life and my online career. Any many, many people support this notion! (And for many, social media is great!) But deep down, I knew it wasn’t serving me. And that knowledge has been eating away at me.
Recognizing and admitting that something is a detriment to your well-being, despite its external validation, is one of the bravest things you can do for yourself.
So often, we get caught up in societal expectations, not realizing we have a voice and a choice. A great example is the typical societal formula of going to school, getting a job, getting married, and having kids. So many people feel absolutely obligated to this timeline, and yet it’s really just another option to choose from in a life strung together by a series of choices, outcomes, and experiences.
Finding the Courage to Let Go
Recently, my mindset coach asked me a pivotal question: “What if it’s okay that you’re this way? What if it’s okay to just accept the way you are and adjust your life accordingly, instead of always labeling it as an ‘issue’ you need to fix?”
That question unlocked something profound. Instead of viewing my aversion to social media as a problem to be solved, I began to see it as a simple truth about myself. And with that realization came relief – relief in deciding to separate myself from something that doesn’t align with my peace of mind or core values.
The decision alone felt like a breath of fresh air. So did the realization that things don’t have to be so black and white. I always thought that if I had an issue, it was something to be fixed, not honored. But what if it could simply be another puzzle to solve in life?
I never once thought I could simply not subscribe to the social media machine. I just kept pushing myself forward, banging my head against the proverbial wall of “having” to do it. I hadn’t realized I had the choice to choose a different path.
How often do we force ourselves to endure things that drain us because they’re seen as valuable or unavoidable? How often do we ignore our own needs to fit into societal expectations?
Letting go isn’t giving up—it’s making space for what truly aligns with your well-being and values.
Recognizing these misalignments takes strength and honesty. Acting on them takes even more courage.
Letting go of energy drains isn’t about weakness; it’s about self-respect. It’s about acknowledging that peace of mind – and soul – is more important than external validation. And it’s about believing that we’re allowed – and deserve – to live in alignment with our truest Self (and for our highest good).
Steps to Recognize and Remove Energy Drains
- Identify the Source: Reflect on what consistently leaves you feeling depleted. Is it a habit, a relationship, or an expectation you’ve placed on yourself?
- Be Honest With Yourself: Ask tough questions: Why am I holding onto this? Is it for me, or is it because I think I “should”?
- Embrace Acceptance: What if it’s okay to be exactly as you are? What if your needs don’t require justification?
- Start Small: You don’t need to make sweeping changes overnight. Begin by setting boundaries or reducing your exposure to the drain.
- Notice the Relief: Pay attention to how you feel when you take steps to let go. Does it bring clarity, lightness, or peace?
Choosing Peace Over Perception
The world might tell you that certain things are “good” or “necessary,” but only you can determine what truly serves you. Letting go of something society values doesn’t make you less – it actually makes you MORE … authentic, real, honest, inspirational.
Recognizing these misalignments takes strength and honesty. Acting on them takes even more courage.
As I take a step back from social media, I’m reminded that true connection begins within. The energy I once poured into navigating that space can now be redirected toward what genuinely lights me up. And that, I’ve realized, is the ultimate gift.
I invite you to look at your own life. Where are you holding onto things that don’t align with your peace of mind? What might you let go of to create space for what truly matters? It takes a strong, brave, and honest person to make these choices — but the peace waiting on the other side is worth every step.
To end, I wrote a poem after that session with my mindset coach where he asked me that pivotal question. [Poetry is my first love in writing, but these days I rarely write or share them! Perhaps this is the first step to getting back to THAT unique part of me! Thank you for being a part of this journey.]
“It’s Ok to Be Ok”
What if, after all of that,
It’s ok?
What if I am whole –
No matter what?
What if I could fail
But still be just fine?
What if when I fuck up
I can laugh, learn, forgive
And then simply move on?
Without the self-loathing + criticism
And sans judgment?
Younger Ashton says, “yes this sounds so nice!”
What if I let
“I love you and I’m listening”
Be enough for now?
What if – just for now –
Everything can be ok?
Ok as-is is enoughness.
It is the non-attachment that arrives
As the love child of forgiveness and acceptance.
WHAT IF I am whole and complete
Simply as I am?!
What if I were to live my life
Based on this belief?
It would look similar from the outside looking in
But behind the scenes,
It would create an entire paradigm shift.
Actioning the insight
So my reality becomes:
I AM ALREADY COMPLETE.
What if this was for certain – no what ifs?
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